Bad Tiky, You Sonofabitch.

I'm starting to think that it's becoming a habit of mine to make my own life twist and turn into a bloody Korean drama. I mean, seriously. I can't stop falling into potholes and then screaming for help(mostly from Shiren...sorry) only to fall right back into another one just half a foot away.

Why, Tiky? WHY?

It doesn't help either that I tend to be a tad too insensitive, like almost everybody says nowadays. To be honest, I already AM trying my best to be as soft and feely as humanely possible. Obviously, that's not working out too well. I'm...I'm a fucking ROCK.

And how does an almost emotionally-devoid lump of minerals cope with sensitivity?

Disaster, I tell you. Disaster.

It's not that I don't care. Hell, if I never gave a shit, why the fuck would I lie wide awake till 3 in the morning, worrying about how to break it to you? You're just so fragile inside; putting you next to an impulsive kid like me just doesn't work out. I'm far too thick-skinned for my own good.

I don't feel pain. More like mind-numbing guilt. I never meant to hurt anybody. I never wanted to. But sometimes, trying to avoid conflict just makes conflict itself all the more inevitable. Look at the League of Nations, for example.

I never meant for it to go out of hand. Believe me. I'm just doing whatever seems right at the moment. I know a lot of people think I'm selfish for doing this, but please, think. Hasn't anybody assessed the situation I'm in? I'm trapped between the devil and the deep blue sea. Either I do this, or I unwittingly lead on someone I never loved in the first place. It is never pleasant being the bearer of bad news. It is never pleasant making anybody cry. It is never pleasant being the one to break another's heart.

Especially when you don't really feel anything at all.

That is when my conscience fucking kills me.